


The Shadows of the Night

by rowaelinsmut



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowaelinsmut/pseuds/rowaelinsmut
Summary: Nesta hasn't seen Cassian since the war, she runs into him in the middle of the night after a nightmare in the House of Wind.





	The Shadows of the Night

Nesta awoke with a start, covered in sweat and heart racing far too fast. The nightmares were taking their toll; they were far too frequent for her liking. Each night she was plagued by images from the war. The shock and realisation when she knew what the Cauldron had planned to do to the Illyrian aerial legions in the sky. The shattering of her heart as she steeled herself to die with him…

Cassian.

Even after the past month, she had kept her distance, unsure of how she could ever face him after his declaration. War made people say and do obscene things but she knew he meant every word.

How was she supposed to follow up with that? There was no denying the ferocity of her feelings for him. Even if she continued to deny them out loud, even if she continued to ignore him. Nesta knew she caused him pain with her actions, it was written plainly on his face.

It wasn’t exactly easy to lay yourself bare. Not when she had spent so many years cultivating the distance and barriers between herself and everyone else.

Nesta sat upright in her bed, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She folded the duvet back and planted her feet on the floor. Her nightgown had gotten tangled around her legs so she set about righting it before she stood up. There was a bathroom across the hall from her room and that was her destination. She needed to clean the remnants of the nightmare from her skin.

As she opened the door to her bedroom, Nesta heard another door close down the hall. Given that she was at the House of Wind, where she’d taken to avoiding Feyre’s court, it struck her as slightly annoying that someone was here uninvited.

She crossed the hall, knowing full well that at least it would be someone friendly. Friendly of course meaning, not someone Nesta would need to gouge any eyes out of anyways. Once she entered the bathroom and got a good look at her face in the ornate mirror, she cursed under her breath.

Dark bags had taken up permanent residence under her eyes while the rest of her skin looked washed out. Her lips were wan and cracked. It was as though someone had come along and washed away all semblance of colour from her life, hell, washed away all evidence of life from her.

War had done this. War had changed her. She had chosen to live separate from the others and rarely deigned to leave because it was too difficult to face them. To face him.

Nesta splashed water on her face anyways, knowing full well it wouldn’t help before grabbing a towel and wiping the cool water off. She dropped the towel unceremoniously on the floor before leaving the bathing room.

When she crossed the threshold of the hallway, she bumped into her uninvited houseguest.

A loud curse cracked through the otherwise quiet house like lightning and Nesta cringed.

“Nesta?” He asked tentatively.

“Why are you here, Cassian,” she asked, voice cracking on his name as she disentangled herself from him and took three steps back. The light from the bathroom illuminated her face and she saw the pain flash through Cassian’s eyes as he took the state of her in.

Nesta didn’t avert her gaze, challenging him as always. But Cassian didn’t take the bait. And as Nesta really saw him and saw that the pain wasn’t only reflected in his eyes, but present physically as well… she felt the fire raging within sputter and die.

“Oh, Nes…” He whispered, agony lacing his words as he looked helplessly at her.

Only then did she feel her resolve crack and she looked away, to the wall to the left of him and tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. She pursed her lips, attempting to curb the raging storm of emotions within her. Nesta knew she was better at hiding her feelings than her sisters but seeing Cassian look as desolate as her after not having seen him at all since the war… it shattered her.

Cassian made no move towards her but she could sense the restraint it took him to accomplish that feat. As the tears ran down her face, dripping to the ground, they stood there and allowed themselves to find solace in the comfort of one another’s presence.

Only after Nesta’s tears had dried, and Cassian was breathing so heavily from reigning his tears in, did Nesta finally look at him again.

Her nose had reddened and her eyes were glassy but damned if she still wasn’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Nesta took one step towards Cassian, her blue-grey eyes betraying none of her intentions. Cassian’s hold broke and he met her in the middle. She looked up at him and he down at her, and in that moment the fire raged between them, stronger than ever and Nesta felt a tug deep within her. Her eyes widened slightly but Cassian was there, wiping the last escaped tear from her cheek. “Shhhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

And although she shared the same air with him, his breath hot on her face, neither of them moved to close that last bit of distance, to meet each other, flesh to flesh. It would be her choice, Nesta knew. Everything would be her choice with him because he would never allow her choices to be taken away ever again.


End file.
